Conversation Partner Meeting 3

            My third meeting (second with Mohammed) went exceptionally well! I am staring to get to know him better and we both felt more comfortable around each other this time because we now know what to expect. I was running late, and last time he showed up early, so I was worried I was making him wait. Thankfully we were both running late and it all worked out. We first started off with the obligatory “how are yous” and finally got settled in to our conversation.

            I started off by saying how worried I was about being late because I lost track of time with all of the work I need to get done this week. He too said that this was a busy week especially because the intensive English program has their finals the week after thanksgiving break. We both laughed and agreed how every professor decides to assign projects, papers and tests right before finals. We then began discussing what we will be doing over the break. I said that I would be returning home to Colorado and he will be visiting Austin or Florida with his wife depending on what his budget allows. I asked if he had experienced thanksgiving and Christmas before and he said that he had while he was in the Netherlands for a year. He said it was cold this time of year, which I responded with how cold it is back home right now.

            The conversation then transitioned into talking about how it is currently raining in his hometown. It doesn’t rain to terribly often and when it does it causes some major problems. The government in Saudi Arabia, if you didn’t know, is a monarchy. As with any monarchy the government is filled with corruption. What does this have to do with rain you might ask? Well the rain needs somewhere to go, i.e. storm drains, infrastructure. Do to the corruptness in the nation money that gets allotted to the construction companies to improve the infrastructure and create the storm drains finds its way into the owner of the companies bank account instead of actually making the improvements. Mohammed said this is a big issue and because the infrastructure is so poor, it only takes about three ours of medium rainfall to create massive flooding that usually ends up in the deaths of a few citizens. I asked how often this happens and I was shocked to hear that is occurs every single year, sometimes even twice a year. It doesn’t just stop there. Another example he gave me was how the airport has a leaky roof and every time it rains it comes dripping into the building. Again, money that was allotted by the government to maintain the airport finds its way into someone’s Swiss bank account as opposed to making the necessary improvements.

            Mohammed worries that if the oil runs out that his country will be in ruin. The only thing he says that everyone relies on is oil. The government has destroyed the little bit of farmland that they have, and the once fairly good fishing grounds off the coast have now been covered with sand so the prince can have more plots of land for luxury houses. He said they are killing their natural resources and putting all of their eggs in one basket so to speak. Mohammed is also concerned with the property prices in Saudi. A decent home costs around $1 million US dollars. This is because there is limited space in the cities in which people actually want to live. Either that or the plots of land are on these man made spits of land that are owned by the royal family and they charge even more. I asked why not simply finance the house. He laughed and said that the banks are not in the best of shape and so getting a loan for a house is nearly impossible. If you do somehow get one you’re looking at 20% interest.

            Our conversation ended here with the worries he has for his countries. Right before we left I too said I was worried about my country and how my parent’s generation has left us with this huge mountain of debt and expects us to pay it off. Both situations are worrisome for guys our age but we are both confident that things will work out.

Learning #3

            I cannot believe that the end of the semester is approaching so quickly. It seems like just a few weeks ago classes started and I began the junior year journey that is now almost half over. I have learned a lot in all of my classes this year but I have also learned a lot outside of the classroom. It seems as though every single year of college accelerates exponentially. While most may think that all of the pressure and work of school is horrible I have learned that it is, in fact, quite amazing. Some people may call me crazy but I have learned that I truly enjoy all of the work and stress of school. With the years flying by it will over in the blink of an eye. I have to enjoy every second of it because I know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and once its over I will never be able to experience it again.

            I have also learned that professors assign things for a reason. The last couple years I would get frustrated with all of the assignments I saw as “busy work”. I know realize that it is all for a reason and if you just sit down and dive deep into the assignment you’ll surprise yourself how much you learn and get from it. So instead of looking at how much I have to do and letting it stress me out I now can now just relax and be excited and thankful that I have this great opportunity to study at one of the best private institutions in the country. Instead of being a burden I have learned that all of this is really a blessing and I should have no other reaction then to be truly excited that I even have the opportunity to be buried under all of these papers, tests and projects.

            This semester I have also learned that I cant do everything by myself and that’s completely ok. I used to have the hardest time asking for help because I just expected myself to figure it out alone. Taking the more strenuous upper level electives for my major I have learned that it is ok to ask my professors and fellow classmates for help. It’s not giving up or being a failure but actually being smarter. I have found that simply asking for help has allowed me to learn much more than what I would have going at it alone. It is ignorant or arrogant to think that I can do everything by myself and I need to take advantage of the fact that I am surrounded by professors willing to teach outside of class other students eager to learn.

            It isn’t just the things I learn in the classroom that I will use once I am out in the real world pursuing my career. This knowledge that I have gained this semester outside of the classroom is equally if not more important than the material I have learned in class. I will no longer take things for granted and cherish them while they are around because nothing lasts forever. No matter how tough or frustrating something is I have to just realize that I may one day miss it. While it’s sad that the end of my undergraduate career is approaching with remarkable speed it is equally as exciting that the start of the next phase of life is approaching. I am so excited to start my law school career and do something a little different than what I have been for the past few years. Don’t get me wrong I am in no way wishing away the time I have left here at TCU. In fact, I am going to try to contain my excitement for what lies ahead by concentrating and getting everything out of what’s happening in the now. These final three semesters at TCU are going to be the best yet because I will be able to take everything I have learned in and out of class and apply that knowledge to enjoy the rest of school to the greatest of my ability.

Conversation Partner Meeting #2

            Yesterday was the second conversation partner meeting I have had this semester. I know it is a little late in the game to only be on number two but my partner quit the program and I wasn’t informed of this. Anyway I now have a new partner and his name is Mohammed. When we met up, we first went through all of the obligatory introduction questions as I had done with my previous partner Osama. I found out that Mohammed is from eastern Saudi Arabia. So far east that there is actually a bridge in his city that goes straight into Bahrain, which is one of the Middle East’s gulf countries. I also learned that his father once owned and operated a meat processing plant back in Saudi Arabia. He has since passed but Mohammed and his brothers now run the company. He is here getting his supply chain management degree to better help his dad’s company. He said that he has a lot of experience running the company but not enough knowledge about running a company. Without both, he said, you cannot succeed. Mohammed is also here with his wife who is currently trying to get her masters in journalism. I thought it was interesting that the first thing we discussed once we had introduced ourselves came up after the question of differences between here and Saudi. He started off by talking about how he had ordered Direct TV to watch soccer. He wanted the channels in both English and Spanish but only got English because he would have to order another package. He now is moving and called to cancel the service and was upset they charged him a cancellation fee. He didn’t understand that it was in the small print of the form he signed and thought that was strange that the installer that had him sign the contract didn’t explicitly tell him everything that was in the contract. He also informed me that trying to rent an apartment is more expensive if you don’t have a social security number. He said that just because he didn’t have one the apartment he is renting got eight hundred dollars per month more expensive.

            Our talk then got quite a bit more serious when we began to discuss the current situation in the Middle East. It started with a talk about the three major religions that exist and how we all really come from the same background and how the fighting is useless. We both came to the conclusion that all of the fighting is due to the fact that politics and religion are intertwined. Un-like in the US where church and state are separate, political parties are fueled by there religion or specificity of a certain religion. Mohammed kept making the point that there won’t be peace in the Middle East until religion is removed from politics. I was happily surprised at the conclusion he made because I would agree with that. He also brought up the point that he doesn’t understand why Americans and European countries keep arming people that end up becoming their enemies. He said that they should pick a group of people and back them the entire way if we are going to keep getting in everyone’s business. Off of that point I asked how the Saudi’s viewed Americans. I was surprised to learn that Americans had lots of influence in Saudi Arabia especially in his town because it is one of the biggest oil towns in the country. First of all he brought up the Gulf War and how he said his mother was running through the streets with him in his arms running from Saddam’s troops and how Americans saved his town. He also pointed out that the Americans that worked for the oil companies even changed and influenced the local dialect of Arabic introducing words such as pick up (as in the truck) and how some people even today don’t know that is an English word.

            I was a little worried going in especially because Mohammed was a new partner and I had become comfortable with my first partner. It turns out that he is a cool, easy going, smart guy that I look forward to meeting up with again next week.

Learning Blog #2

            Learning about humor this semester has completely changed how I look and perceive things that are funny. It makes me think about why I actually find certain things funny. I also find myself thinking about jokes before I say them. Questions like, is this appropriate for the situation? And, is this humor going to be harmful to anyone? The second of the two questions in particular has really tripped me up. My sense of humor is a little different than most. I like to give people a hard time and a lot of times that involves saying something mean in a joking manor (as to diffuse the situation and hopefully allowing the other person to notice I am in play mode). I have found that sometimes people don’t or can’t pick up my play signals and they take me seriously and therefore are, or can be, offended by my comment. Taking this course has really allowed me to realize when certain comments are funny and appropriate and when they aren’t. These comments tend to deal with the superiority theory, when in fact I don’t actually believe I am better, but I say something that hints at it merely to be funny. In theory, I’m trying to get them to be offended at first, but then hopefully they will pick up on my play signals and realize that it is simply a joke. In which case they get that false alarm sense of relief and hopefully laugh because of it. What I have learned form this class has allowed me to understand why others might not find something is funny, even though that it’s my intent.

            Learning about humor has also improved my own jokes and one-liners. Breaking down the theories of humor has actually allowed me to think things through for that extra second to make the witty comment or quip even funnier. Such as waiting until everyone is disengaged before saying something funny. Humor can be considered as disengaging, therefore if the people hearing the humor are already in a disengaged state, the joke will be generally more effective than if the audience is deeply engaged in something else. If this is the case, they may miss what you said or the intricacy of the comment and it is no longer funny. Studies have shown that the human brain can only focus on one major thing at a time, therefore if one is engaged in something other than looking for funny comments, the comment might easily be missed. I’ve also been able to read and realize when people are in this “play mode” or disengaged state. This means that my jokes are generally timed better, therefore usually well received and have a positive effect. As I stated before, sometimes jokes are more effective when people aren’t in the disengaged state, in which case they almost believe what you are saying before realizing that it is a joke. This false alarm causes the “fight or flight” or initial shock of the statement to be released as laughter.

            Before I started taking this class, I was trying to get better at biting my tongue and being more careful in certain situations so people wouldn’t take what I say the wrong way. I was having a really hard time with that, and I still am. However, what I’m learning from this class is allowing me to craft my (or what I think are my) humorous statements. The things I have learned in this class are allowing me to filter myself and actually think over what I’m about to say in an effort to avoid people taking what I’m about to say the wrong way. Sure, I still step on toes occasionally, but that is almost never my intention and this knowledge is at least guiding me in the right direction when it comes to filtering what and when I say things.

Conversation Partner Meeting #1

            My conversation partners name is Osama. Osama is from Saudi Arabia and recently moved to New York and then ended up down here in Texas. He is nineteen and once he finishes the intensive English program at the end of the year he plans on starting his degree in accounting. The reason he wants to be an accountant is because that is what his dad currently does in Saudi Arabia. Osama’s dad will be moving out here shortly because both Osama and his mother live in the DFW area. His mom is studying at the University of Dallas and he visits her frequently. We met up at the rec center and sat in the lobby. We spoke for around an hour and a half before we both realized how long it had been and had to part ways. Finding things to talk about was certainly not an issue, which I was worried about the entire time. I have met some people from the Middle East before and I was nervous that he would be like them. Very arrogant and this sort of Americans are dumb I’m better than you kind of attitude. I was very surprised to learn that he was not like this at all which helped me settle down and enjoy the conversation and his company. One of the first things we discussed were our hometowns. This of course led into a discussion of all the wild stereotypes of both our birthplaces. He said that most people ask him if they live in little huts or tents in the desert and ride camels. Obviously this isn’t true and he informed me that his city is much like Fort Worth with high rises downtown and suburban neighborhoods surrounding the area. Coming to Texas he thought there would be a lot less trees and it would be a desert landscape, much like you’d see in a western movie, and that people would be riding horses. He was also relieved/surprised that it was similar to where he is from. When I told him I was from Colorado I mentioned that everyone thinks it snows year round and that all we do is ski. I also mentioned how that isn’t true and it gets hot in the summer. Maybe not hot by Saudi standards but hot to people that don’t live in the desert of the Middle East.

            Osama and I then started to discuss sports we like or have played. He enjoys playing soccer and basketball and even used to play tennis. He still has no opinion on football and I plan to change that. Then things got a little more on the serious side and we discussed the certain culture and customs of our two nations and some of the stark contrasts. For instance men and women can’t show any affection towards one another in public whatsoever. In restaurants there are separate seating sections for women and their families and single men. The dress is indeed very conservative for women. Some people might take offense to this and say that they are stripping them of their freedom. After discussing with Osama, as well as some previous studies I have done on the Muslim religion, I came to the realization that they are trying to respect the women so they will not be looked upon in a lustful way or put a man and a women in a situation in which she could be disrespected. Sure this seems a little extreme but we just have to take a step back and realize we are two completely different cultures. When he asked me what I thought of Saudi Arabia I brought up sharia law and Islam but told him that I like his country and how they have been a valuable ally to the American’s for many years. When I asked him about his or the Saudi’s thoughts on America, to my surprise he actually said that they like Americans for the most part. I was somewhat taken back by this and told him that I was under the impression that a lot of the world, especially the Muslim countries didn’t care for Americans. After talking about all of this (including Israel and all of the baggage that comes along with that) we both agreed that the media portrays pictures of only a small group of extremists in either country or culture and we really just need to experience the culture for ourselves and meet the actual people that make it up. We also agreed that every one should get along (Christians, Jews and Muslims) because we all come from the same roots but branched off in different directions.